You'll Never Know

(6/4/2012)

I gave you all I had to make you happy
But maybe all I had was not enough
I can't catch fireflies to light up the dark
And I burned my hands because I tried
You'll never know..

The words I used to describe you were always real
It was just hard to tell you them in person
I can't really speak too well but I listen to everything
I have a strange disorder and I get nervous
You'll never know..

I can't hide what I feel for you but I can hide it from everyone else
I don't know if I'd call it a mask, I prefer a disguise to make me different
I'd show you bit by bit who I really am, until I know you can handle me
Its just hard to deal with instability after being torn to shreads everytime
You'll never know..

I know I'm pessimistic but I see optimism in some things
It hurts when I can't take the aftermath of the sting
The poison reaches my heart too fast I can't think
It seems the vulnerability looks invincible to you
You'll never know..

Deep inside my room when I cry myself to sleep
I can't forget the words you said because they hurt
They hurt so much that it pains me to see how weak I am
After all, my disguise never seemed to fail to you
You'll never know..

You're delighted to hear that I am going through hell
The exact same selfish hell you've been through,
But I didn't try to put you there, I tried to save you
My plans just backfired and I took the bullet for you
You'll never know..

I travelled to the end of my world to search for you
Even though I should've let you go long ago, I couldn't
You tried to forget me so you wouldn't have to think of me
Who knew I'd die in an accident in search for you?
You'll never know..